RamWire: Locker Rooms Teach Student-Athletes Life Lessons
Similarities are found within their differences
Mike Brohard
They sit in classrooms much of the day.
Being a college student, there are the academic settings. The lectures, the labs and the study groups.
As an athlete, there are meetings, strategy sessions and workouts.
There’s also the locker room, and many student-athletes find it to be the place where they learn their greatest life lessons.
“I’m in human development and family studies, so I spend a lot of time with a concentration on people and how they interact,” said Lily Tomasula-Martin, a sophomore on the cross country and track teams. “Having that dynamic of having a lot of people with a shared goal, but a lot of people who are not like each other, that’s very interesting to see how people intermingle. Most of us have something going on or something that’s different than anybody else, but it gives you a high-end level of understanding.”
In her sports at Colorado State, there are the normal blends you’d see in any of the locker rooms, a myriad of socio-economic and family backgrounds, geographic and ethnic differences. They are also the lone group which blends in gender in workouts.
By sitting down and talking, but mostly through listening, Rams across campus are finding the reality men’s basketball coach Niko Medved has seen play out through his years, first as a player, later as a coach.
“In my opinion, I’ve always felt like sports is one of the most unique avenues in all of society where you get, organically, people from all different backgrounds – races, socio-economic – together, all pulling in the same direction for the same thing,” Medved said. “I think what I’ve found throughout the years is, while we have differences, I think what people start finding is a lot more unites us than divides us. We have more similarities than we have differences.”
Hunter Williams didn’t know many people on campus when he came from Frisco, Texas to join the football team. Neither did Ross Reiter, who came from Phoenix, Ariz. But over the course of their freshman year, they found they had a lot more in common than they might have guessed.
That comes in handy, because even though they are best friends, you still have to overlook certain things.
Such as Williams can cook, thanks to his dad being a chef. Reiter, let’s just say that set of skills is up for debate. But he does love when Williams cooks hot dogs and rice.
Or, as folks in Louisiana would call it, jambalaya.
“He’s a big fan,” Williams said. “But dude, it’s andouille sausage.”
In return, Williams said Reiter has taught him a gift to open doors.
“My dad always told me communication rules the nation, but I was, whatever,” Williams said. “Ross is the most social butterfly I know. I learned that from him. He’ll go talk to anybody, and I was, maybe I need to talk to people. Just learning from other people, it’s keeping us out of trouble and helping us learn communication skills for the real world when it’s the big test and we have to get a job.”
Talking and listening leads to understanding. For instance, in a random conversation, Reiter found he shares a love of EDM with Dante Wright. He also had no idea why some of his teammates were so saddened by the passing of rapper Nipsey Hussle, so he asked, and what he heard led to a deep respect for the ideologies of the musician. Williams loves the blend on their team, be it stories from German Nouredin Nouili, or talking to people from the West Coast and small towns from all over.
Everybody, they’ve found, has a different story, and, in turn, kinships. This is a common realization for athletes in every Rams’ locker room.
“I’ve learned about different upbringings, different values,” said Jacob Brueckman, who also bridges from cross country to track. “We do have international athletes on the track team. I’ve learned a ton about different values, different family dynamics. I have divorced parents, and I have athletes on the team who have similar childhoods, other athletes have really healthy families. I’ve learned about different socio-economic statuses, upbringings, and how to be more empathetic about that. I came to CSU, not necessarily for the scholarship, and a lot of people needed that to come here. Being aware and empathetic about that has been important and a very teachable moment for me.”
And definitely gender. He listens as Tomasula-Martin expresses her anger of an incident earlier in the season where the women’s team was running in Fort Collins, a guy slowed down his car and took a picture of them in their running shorts and sports bras. The invasion of their privacy still burns, just as much as the catcalls they hear.
The men’s team has some salty derogatory comments tossed their way, too, but he said they never feel threatened. He understands why Tomasula-Martin does.
He’s never called a friend when he leaves a night class, just in case something happens. Tomasula-Martin always does. She runs with her cell phone. He never considered it a necessity.
Through it all, he has gained a better understanding of women’s issues, even in team settings. In the same regard, the women feel they've gained a deeper measure of regard from their male counterparts.
“They see me work hard every single day. They are there every day in the workouts where I’m covered in sweat and disgusting, doing the same amount of work," Tomasula-Martin said. "They know the effort is there. I’m not a hobby jogger. I’m a DI athlete. Them being with us all the time, they have the same level of respect as I do for them.”
For both, having a men’s and women’s team paired together was one of the main reasons they chose Colorado State over other offers. In four years, the teachings in those setting have been invaluable.
“It was one of my top five reasons for coming here. I think your diversity of friendships is strengthened,” Brueckman said. “I think men and women are different types of people, and you can learn things from women you can’t learn from men. I think it makes you a more well-rounded person surrounding yourself with male and female friendships.”
As runners, they feel their sport and their success leans heavily toward the mental side of preparation and perseverance. There are plateaus in training and performance, which can lead to stress. So can a bad race. Throw in a rough day of class, it amplifies.
Ask any athlete, and they are becoming much more aware of their mental health in this day and age. Brueckman said being around the women’s team has made him more open to show his emotional vulnerability when it comes to a downturn. But whatever the issue is, they have somebody to turn to, and Tomsula-Martin said often she needs a varied viewpoint.
“It’s almost a reverse. There are times I don’t want to talk to the women on the team about a certain theme, because some of the guys might have a different perspective than me,” Tomsula-Martin said. “You don’t need to necessarily shut everything down, and some of the most talented guys on our team are not the biggest tough guys.
“These people probably know me better than I know myself, and that’s not just limited to the women.”
“I think it creates a sense of community. I think we learn so much about each other in that way, and I think it’s the ultimate way to learn about diversity.”CSU men's basketball coach Niko Medved
For the coaches, there is a natural payoff to the interactions. Teams all share goals and aspirations, and a tighter bond can help the players focus more acutely.
But as collegiate coaches, their mission extends beyond the standings to prepare their players for what’s next, and for most on their rosters, that’s not a professional sport. With regard to development, a locker room is a perfect mirror of a workplace dynamic.
“I think for so many of them, I think if they had not been a part of sports or in a locker room, they never would have had the opportunity to closely interact, whether it’s rooming on the road, daily, intimate interactions with people of different races, socio-economic backgrounds, different parts of the world, that they get to get together in this organic fashion,” Medved said. “I think it creates a sense of community. I think we learn so much about each other in that way, and I think it’s the ultimate way to learn about diversity.”
To be sure, Williams and Reiter consider the coaching staff to be among their most valued teachers outside of football. Williams remembers occasions where head coach Mike Bobo has asked the to-go plates be removed from dinner so the players will sit with each other and interact.
Williams, now a wingman for Reiter’s social pursuits, said they will vary where they sit in order to hold a conversation with a teammate they might not know as well yet. For them, removing ‘yet’ is a key part of them expanding their ability to relate and interact.
They both said politics are left out of the locker room, but current events are great conversation starters. On the football team, they believe they are learning to have meaningful dialog amid a confluence of theories.
“The biggest thing I’ve learned is, when you talk to somebody with different beliefs, you have to have an open mind,” Reiter said. “I’m not saying you have to believe everything they’re saying, but just see through their lens to see what they’re saying, find a focal point to talk and present your view. We argue because no one sees through another lens. When you discuss, you’re not yelling. You can see both sides. I get that, but this is what I believe.”
You can also learn to cook, correctly.
Say, make sure you don’t just throw kale and eggs in a pan and expect it to cook well. Or when you drop kale on the burner and it starts a fire, you don’t find water to put out a grease fire so Williams and your other roommates, Ryan Lynch and Jacob Stanton, can avoid seeking other accommodations.
“I’m similar to Ross, but I’m different than he is,” Williams said. “We’re a different color, but he’s still my best friend, even though he steals my ice cream.”
The quarters are close, but as the athletes talk and listen, they learn. When they run in a pack, they might as well take the time to ask a few questions. Sitting side by side in the locker room, they drop their phones and relate.
In doing this, what the student-athletes have found is they can talk, they can disagree, and down the road, those moments add value to their life experiences, developed in a setting unique from all others.