Senior swimmer at peace with life, sport
Mike Brohard
When she walked into the Bob Davis Hall, she had her game face ready.
With a twist.
This was photo day, from the simple head shot for the Colorado State women’s swimming and diving website to the hype pictures the athletics marketing department uses for promotion via graphics and posters. This would be the last time for Julia Box, and she came in with a proclamation: She was going to look her best because, well, swimmers don’t often get the chance.
They leave practice and head to class in sweats with wet hair and smelling of chlorine. Many days, they’ll head back to the pool to complete a second workout, again, leaving with wet hair and smelling of chlorine.
So Box walked in with bright red lipstick, and her hair was going to look good.
By no means was this a vanity play for the sake of vanity. Box was having fun with it, and her teammates. She did her normal hype shots, then asked if she could do one while performing a handstand.
She tried to institute Floppy Friday’s – she does a belly flop off the blocks – and she laughs. It hasn’t exactly caught on with the rest of the roster. She will break into a British accent – she calls it that, coach Christopher Woodard said it needs work – at random times in practice. If the moment allows, she is finding a way to insert a lift.
“I think the best medicine is laughter, and the best person to make yourself laugh is you,” Box said. “I think that’s my one goal is to make myself laugh, and If I get other chuckles around the pool and it puts a smile on someone’s face, that’s just a bonus.”
The way she’s set up this year was always my hope, but two years ago, it was a dream. She’s done an amazing job of putting herself in a position to succeed.CSU Women's Swimming and Diving Coach Christopher Woodard
This season is Box being comfortable with who she is and where she’s at as a person. Last season she was not. Two years ago, she was a bit lost after transferring from Buffalo and experiencing the passing of her father, Fred.
There was so much to sort through, and she was trying to find her path. As a coach, Woodard put the athlete on the back burner.
“I was just there to help the human being. I loved recruiting her, and I would have loved to have coached her all four years, and at that point, I just wanted to see her rebound, get her degree and find some purpose in life,” he said. “When she decided to come back, I think she was gung-ho, but I was a little more skeptical. I had never coached anyone who had been off for more than a year, she hadn’t touched the water. I was less wide eyed. I was more, let’s see how we’re going to handle that.”
When her father was diagnosed with cancer, she was in the middle of her sophomore season at Buffalo, and she was rolling in the water after winning the 2017 Mid-American Conference 200-yard butterfly title in a school-record time of 1:59.44. She also knew she needed to be home with her family, so she made the decision to transfer to Colorado State.
Over the summer, she wasn’t in the water a lot, with family activities centered around her brother’s wedding. Two weeks before school started the fall of 2017, her father passed away.
She tried to get in the water, but she had panic attacks. Her safe place for 15 years no longer existed, and within two weeks of classes starting, she dropped out.
She re-enrolled in January of 2018, but she wasn’t ready to swim. Four months had already passed, and another four would follow before her mind gave her hope she was ready to resume swimming.
She called Woodard back and the reformatting began. Coming back isn’t as simple as walking on deck and saying hello, which she admits she hadn’t fully thought through. Woodard’s team had built relationships, and they also remembered Box as the girl who was here and then immediately gone.
She not only had to find her place in the lanes after taking so much time off, she had to become part of the team, really, for the first time.
“Just being a transfer, that was challenging. Freshman year, people create so many great bonds,” Julia said. “I was trying to find my footing and still trying to figure out who I was as a person. I was trying to figure out where I fit on the team, and I didn’t know where I was with my speed, and I think I had this perception of other people’s expectations for me, as well as the year prior I had committed to the team and I had left.
“There were a lot of different elements going on. My perception of other people and their perception of me wasn’t always harmonious. I think as the year went on, I started to develop those relationships and I knew where I was and I started to gain that element in the pool. I think that whole process of last year created the foundation for me to be entered into the team this year.”
Through it all, she would pop into Woodard’s office and ramble. Maybe it was a good grade on a test and she wanted to gloat. Other times, she remembers simply bawling in his office. Woodard learned she didn’t want solutions to her problems, she just needed somebody to listen. For that, she and her mother, Judy, cannot hold Woodard in any higher regard.
What he learned was what Judy already knew and had experienced.
“It was really hard. I mean, other things were going on, so it was one of the few times with her as a swimmer it didn’t get 100 percent of our attention,” Judy said. “It was hard because she had been so successful at her last conference meet, winning the 200 butterfly. I felt terrible the whole thing was happening, and she was at the peak of her career. It was hard on a lot of levels.
“I’ve never been able to tell her what to do. As my husband said, she was independent to a fault. I tried to be a sounding board and tried to solve a lot of problems. She didn’t need them solved, she just needed time.”
They both know, and Julia admits, if you let her go, she will ramble on and on until she finally comes to the conclusion she needs on her own. It works for her.
Yet, she was still trying to regain her old form in the pool, and again, perceptions can make the process harder.
Swimmers can be an odd sort, because no matter what has taken them away from the pool, they seem to believe that last great time will be the starting point when they return. Obviously, swimmers don’t waste time with the trivial points of logic.
“It’s very characteristic of swimmers, no matter where you’re at, that highest level you’ve ever been to, that’s always your expectation and that’s your standard,” she admitted. “So, that plays a part in why people stay with it so long. You’re never truly satisfied.”
Her 2018-19 season was far from fulfilling to her. It doesn’t matter she placed at two individual events at the Mountain West Championships, or that she helped the 200 medley relay break the school record at the meet. She wasn’t fast enough. She wasn’t as fast as she had been.
As if doing yoga for six months was going to equate to hard double practices between big meets.
Still, the conference meet did give her a glimmer of hope, which absolutely established a plan for attack. Her training was strong over the summer, and she entered the season with a bit more optimism in what she could accomplish. She also had used the year to find her spot within the team structure. She could be herself, and this year, the Rams have been given a full view of Julia’s way of living life out loud.
“The majority of the time she’s like that, but it ebbs and flows,” Woodard said. “Last year we saw a desire to come back, but there was a hope everything would fall into place for her, and she struggled probably for one of the first times in her career. She did have an adjustment period, but this year has definitely seen a change. I think she’s more at peace with herself, and when she’s at peace with herself, she’s a firecracker. She brings a childlike enthusiasm, she brings volume for sure, and it’s hard to not pay attention to her when she does things like Floppy Friday, or she’s making jokes or laughing between sets.
“For most people, that makes practice easier. It makes it a more fun environment. No matter what their pain level might be or how frustrated they may be with the set in front of them or their performance, having that brings you back to reality. The pain is not that bad, the set’s not that bad. Julia is having fun. We should be having fun.”
Woodard will roll his eyes at times – and he’s sure she does at him – but he has come to understand the regiment he has set can sometimes be bypassed for what he calls a “good belly laugh,” which will actually set a practice up for success.
Seeing her daughter happy again was been enlightening for Judy, who isn’t sure if she or her daughter will miss the pool more when the suit is hung up for good. Senior Day, even in October, hit every heart string imaginable for both of them.
“I was bawling. I tried not to do it by the time she came out, but it was ugly,” Judy said. “It was incredibly emotional for a lot of reasons. First being my husband wasn’t there, and second being she made it. She swam four years in college. That was a huge goal and she did it. It was a great day, a really fun day.”
Which has created the setup for a really strong finish. At the Phil Hansell Invitational in November, Julia swam a 2:00.36 in the 200 fly, the third-best time in program history. It takes absolutely no stretch of the imagination that, with a good taper, she will be the third Ram to break the 2-minute mark in the event, one of the others being current teammate Marie Goodwyn. Tove Tornstrom’s school record of 1:58.08 will be challenged.
That, for Woodard, would have been a stretch of the imagination just a calendar flip ago.
“To say it’s unusual would be an understatement. I don’t know of many athletes who step away from her sport, and this isn’t just simply a matter of she was injured and couldn’t compete,” he said. “This is someone who was gone for a year and a half. In our sport, it’s really hard because it’s such a conditioned-based sport, and it’s hard to come back and have success and put aside who I used to be and start to think about who I can be. The way she’s set up this year was always my hope, but two years ago, it was a dream. She’s done an amazing job of putting herself in a position to succeed.”
Julia has been swimming the majority of her life. She has devoted her time to pursuing excellence, and through it all, she knew what was next. Swimmers just have that feel.
When they are young, the breakthroughs come in chunks of seconds. As they get older, those are replaced by tenths and hundredths. You take what you can get, because each personal best is a marker. Swimmers set times to hit, then have to come to terms with the energy and effort it takes to turn a 2:00.00 into a 1:59.99 – and revel in the achievement.
For two years, she was floating through the process. As a senior, she is anchored once again, and not just between lane lines.
“I mean, when I came back to swimming, there was a part that was really hard, and there was a part that felt like coming home,” she said. “Being on deck, through the last three years, I think I’ve really found who I am. I am proud of the person I am today, I’m more confident than I’ve ever been in the person I am, and when I’m on the pool deck that person shines.
“It’s fun. I enjoy it.”
With a big smile deserving of bright-red lipstick.