Why I Won't Stick To Sports: Yolonda Johnson
Working to make every space a comfortable space
Yolonda Johnson
Why I Won’t Stick to Sports is a first-person series written by Colorado State student-athletes. Athletes nationally are told to “stick to sports”, but as members of the community, they have ideas, motivations and a passion for creating meaningful change in the world. Their talents and knowledge are not limited to fields of play. In their own words, this is why our student-athletes will not stick to sports.
I was human before anything else.
Immediately after that, I was deemed Black and a woman.
None of those titles did I have a choice in, but, I did choose to be an athlete.
The weight I bear on my back from simply being Black sometimes seems to be the only thing that matters. I walk around campus and suddenly I feel every inch of my black skin. Constantly having to be aware of every inch of my body is a workout in itself. I do this not just for safety, but for comfort. As a Black woman in America, I am constantly reaching for comfort in spaces that were just not made for someone like me to feel comfortable.
Being an athlete has been somewhat of a safe haven for me. It has served as a place for me to find this “comfort” I have strived for my whole life. When I am running, I am not obsessing over my blackness in a pool of snow, I’m honestly just looking for the fastest way to make it to the finish line. When I do well, I feel accepted, which makes me feel comfortable where I am. BUT, this is toxic. Many athletes like myself are using our sport to escape from the pressures of being Black, but it is not enough. Our blackness does not disappear in the limelight, but rather, it is exploited. We realize this when we see the Colin Kaepernicks of our world who were once loved for their athletic ability now being hated by those same “fans” for mixing the issues surrounding his blackness with his sport. So then we must ask, is THIS space that WE fill so abundantly not meant for us either? Are we here purely for entertainment? Do they really love us as they claim or just what WE can do physically?
The truth is, WE should not have to fill our heads with these questions. WE should be able to play freely. Walk around our campuses freely. Find comfort feely. But since WE cannot, WE cannot simply “stick to sports”.
Asking us to “stick to sports” is asking us to ignore the weights we’ve been carrying since birth. It is asking us to sweep centuries of anti-blackness under the rug for the sake of entertainment. Being Black in America, there is nothing WE do without Black being put in front of it. This is not something to be angry about nor be ashamed of, but rather a symbol of the hard work of our ancestors. Our black skin was and continues to be shunned worldwide, so WE must continue to fight for its respect in all areas of our lives, including sports.
Sticking to sports is impossible for US. Our blackness is visible and real, not something to be ignored. This comfort I seek as a Black woman in America, can only be attained if I am able to be open about the beauty of my black skin with myself, and others.
Yolonda Johnson is a junior on the women’s track and field team who place twice at the Mountain West Indoor Championships, earning all-conference honors.