RamWire: Harvey Looking at Promising Outcome
Coaches, teammates encouraged her to admit to needing help
Mike Brohard
All any of them wanted was a happy ending.
No final chapter has been written. There are too many story lines yet to discover along the path, but the outlook is promising for Amelia Harvey and the Colorado State track team.
“I love seeing Amelia do what she loves,” said her former roommate and Ram track athlete Gabby Smith. “That is not exclusive to track, so I would say I’m just really happy to see the holistic Amelia thriving. It seems like she has some really good relationships with her roommates and her engineering buddies, so that social side is in check. Obviously her athletic side is in check. It’s a wide-spread lifestyle happiness more than the track, because track ends.”
For Harvey, there almost wasn’t a beginning. After strong career at Pine Creek High School in Colorado Springs, Harvey came to Colorado State and walked on. While her talent was clear to see, she said she was told it was a numbers game by then assistant coach Ryan Baily, but to keep in touch and keep him posted. There was always next year.
Which turned out to be a good thing for Harvey. What she hadn’t told those around her yet was she suffers from Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder, diagnosed when she was in first grade. What none of them knew was she had stopped taking her medication years prior.
As a youth, she was prescribed an anti-depressant, and after taking it through her seventh-grade year, she stopped, despising the effects.
“I hated the way I felt. I ate practically nothing, because the medication made me not hungry,” she said. “In seventh grade, I weighed 77 pounds and was maybe 5-foot. Once I stopped, I gained 10 pounds each year and grew six more inches.”
In high school, the ability to manage everything was simpler. The academic demands carried less stress, and every teenager has their quirks, so hers did not seem out of the norm. On the track, she was successful and her personality has always been charismatic.
She found a comfort zone, which helped her mask the hard days. Yes, she had those.
Coming to college, they magnified. College track requires a more professional tact, especially with workouts, most definitely with more than 100 student-athletes involved. In the classroom, her chosen major of mechanical engineering was about to test her every fiber.
Those lessons came quick.
There were days she would wake up and not want to get out of bed. She would see the list of items for the day, and didn’t want to do them. With ADHD, she said tasks which might take some of her fellow students an hour to complete could require six of her time on a bad day. She could look at a piece of paper and not see the words, at least not comprehend what to do next.
Without track, she had more time to find herself a routine. Self-admittedly, she is stubborn to the core, and she was determined to take on her battle free of medication. Admittedly, she was still struggling to do so.
Still, the track called, and Baily’s words hung with her – come back next year.
So she did. Smith said it was clear to see she was dynamically talented, and the rest of the team could see it clearly. She came to the Rams as a jumper, but begged that first year to become a multi – competing in the heptathlon and pentathlon. Her redshirt freshman year, she was a top-15 placer in the long jump and triple jump in the indoor and outdoor seasons at the conference meet.
However, with the talent also came some discipline issues starting to brew, head coach Brian Bedard said. She would forget her shoes. She would show up late to practices, miss them altogether or try to alter when she would work out. Smith, being her friend, approached her.
Her sophomore year, there was still no consistency to Harvey at practice, and it was becoming a distraction. She finally had her shot at the pentathlon during indoor, placing 17th at conference. Her results were not as impressive as the year before, though she was top 15 in the jumps during the outdoor season.
“I was on two different sides of the spectrum,” Harvey said. “Some days I’d come in and be, let’s do this. Other days I would come in and be whacked out, and then other days I would come in and just be angry. School had a lot to say in that, just because I felt I was getting behind and couldn’t catch up, then I’d come to practice and have that attitude. I would focus on the negatives instead of the positives.”
It was like taking a deep breath. It took me a while to get to that point. I’m a person who doesn’t want to change, or if I change, I want to be the reason I change; I don’t want outside people to come in. I guess it really does have to do with the fact I didn’t want to seek help.CSU Track Athlete Amelia Harvey
They all knew there could be a breakthrough, but what they also feared was a breakdown.
Not just for her, but for the team. Bedard’s goals do not stop with creating better athletes, but he carries a genuine concern for them as people. And when one can impact 100 negatively, there is an issue. So at the end of her sophomore season, Baily had another talk with Harvey, and Bedard said he made it clear things had to change.
“He told her some things have to change, because you’re also affecting people around her, and that broke her heart,” Bedard said. “She’s all about team and very supportive and caring and loving her teammates, and when she heard that, I think that was hard for her. We said we’re going to give this a go again, but you really need to dial in and try to be more consistent here so you can be a better teammate and it’s healthier for yourself.”
This wasn’t the first conversation she’d had on the topic with Baily, nor was the first with those closest to her.
Smith was also a multi. She cared about Harvey deeply, but also understood Bedard’s concerns for the team welfare, as she shared agreed. They all had the same outlook in mind, Smith said, and that was Harvey’s wellbeing.
At that moment, there were no longer options.
“She took it to heart and realized that maybe her spot on the team was at stake and she might not be able to participate anymore,” Smith said. “The worst thing that Coach Baily wanted to see was Amelia just stressed out of her mind. She wasn’t smiling, she was switching out practice times, and with that, she was practicing alone a lot of time, and that’s not fun when you’re grinding as a multi. Something had to change. That was one of the steps she took.”
Harvey said she had finally started to accept some of the things she’d been fighting all along. The request to practice with the men, one that seemed logical to her at the time, was seen from a different perspective. She finally opened up to Baily about her ADHD, and the fact she was trying to go through the process of getting back on her medication.
Asking for help was tough. Admitting she needed it was extremely difficult.
“It was like taking a deep breath. It took me a while to get to that point,” Harvey said. “I’m a person who doesn’t want to change, or if I change, I want to be the reason I change; I don’t want outside people to come in. I guess it really does have to do with the fact I didn’t want to seek help.”
It took some time to get back on the medication after being off of it so long. There was paperwork involved and doctor’s visits. The training staff at CSU helped her along the way, and at first, she was having to drive to Colorado Springs to get her prescription. A four-hour round trip didn’t always fit into her schedule, so she wasn’t taking it regularly for a spell.
When it started, her old fears came back. She wasn’t going to want to eat, and she was going to loathe the way she felt, and deep down, she felt she was giving up some freedom. She didn’t like having the regiment of requiring a pill daily. She still feels, in the long run, she would be better served if she can handle it without medication, but she can’t deny the positive change.
The results were immediate. Harvey said she felt 20 percent better the next day, and by the end of the first month of daily doses, she was feeling capable and in control.
“It was almost like everything was sharper,” she said. “When I was younger, it felt like I was looking at myself through a third-person’s perspective.”
Her grades have improved. She said Cs and the occasional D are now As and the occasional B. On the track, she has been better than ever. Her junior campaign resulted in her being top 15 in all three events at the Mountain West Championships during the indoor season, highlighted by her seventh-place finish in the pentathlon. During the outdoor season, she was fourth in the heptathlon, eighth in the triple jump.
She’s been even better so far this season. A good place to find Harvey is on the CSU all-time top-20 board. Indoor, she ranks fifth in both the long jump and triple jump, eighth in the pentathlon, ninth in the 200 meters and 16th in the 60 hurdles. Move outdoors and she sits fifth in the heptathlon, 10th in triple jump, 16th in the long jump and 20th in the 200 meters.
For it to happen, she had to be willing to take the step herself, and Bedard is so happy she did. It’s not that she’s a consistent scorer for the Rams, it’s that she’s become a consistent person.
“To her credit, she dug deep and made those changes and some tough decisions and really dialed in,” Bedard said. “She had a fantastic season and was a better teammate. I’d like to think things are better academically. She’s very bright, and you’ve seen her grades improve.”
If only.
Harvey can ponder the thought on a couple of topics. If she knew the medication for adults was different and carried less side effects, especially absent the ones she feared. If she hadn’t been stubborn for so long.
The process would be nerve-wracking, so she’s moved past those queries. Instead, she’s grateful for what she has and the way she feels. For Baily, who wasn’t afraid to tackle a tough topic. Even more, the support groups which helped her through the before and after.
Her advice: Listen to those around you. Let them help. Let yourself be open to aid.
“I think so long as you surround yourself with people who understand you, so long as you take the time to reflect on yourself and see what you value, if it’s feeling like yourself or being able to do the things you’ve always wanted to do, and then sticking through it,” Harvey said. “Just because one tough time comes along, it doesn’t have to be the end-all, be-all. It’s weighing pros and cons and looking at the long game.”
She always had goals. The change is she now sees them clearly.
Looking back, she knows she was never happy. At the present, she’s happier more than not, which is a vast improvement. When rough spots hit, she better equipped to cope, and do so without being a distraction.
The finish line is coming. She’s proud of her improved performance in the classroom, and when it comes to track, she has a target.
She pulls out her phone and sits it on the table. She has charted what she needs in each event to qualify for the NCAA Championships in the pentathlon. They are, she says, realistic goals. Some are challenging for sure, but not out of the realm, even with a barking quadriceps muscle.
At least not now, with her being in a good place.
As for penning the positive last chapter of a student-athlete, she’s encouraged about having that, too. Nor is she alone in the belief.