What I Miss Most: Torn Between Homes
Volleyball player returns to Italy with concern for her family
Sasha Colombo
In their own words, Colorado State student-athletes share what they miss as the coronavirus pandemic has put life on hold globally
I miss my routine. Normality. I can’t believe I’m actually saying this, but I even miss waking up at 5:30 a.m. to lift and run with my teammates.
I’m writing this as I sit at Frankfurt airport, in Germany, waiting for my flight home to Milan, Italy. It’s funny, because often when I’m having a bad day, I think of home and all the happy things connected to being back in Italy for break, close to my family and friends. However, this is not the way I wanted to go home though, leaving America halfway through the semester because I’m scared of not being there for my family if they need me, during such worrying and anxiety-filled days. I’m sad to be leaving volleyball in the middle of our spring season, a crucial time for our team to improve, grow together and develop leadership skills as we prepare for a big incoming class of freshmen in summer and competition time in August.
I miss walking into the locker room full of my best friends, talking about anything and everything, being able to be 100% myself without ever being judged or feeling “different” because I’m not American (I actually even miss them joking about my accent!); I miss doing shoulder rehab while chatting to other athletes in the training room, I miss Mike DeLuca, the volleyball team’s athletic trainer, teasing me when I complain about the fact that it’s snowing AGAIN in Fort Collins. I miss practices in Moby, together with my team and the coaches; I am especially sad about skipping another spring, as I had already missed out on my freshman spring season because I had shoulder surgery.
I miss walking across our beautiful campus to attend classes. I started out the semester really well and I was so enthusiastic about all my classes, especially anatomical kinesiology and the lessons in the lab. Now I’m going to have to study all of this online, missing out on in-class discussions and hands-on observation of muscles and bones.
I miss going back to my apartment after a long day of workouts, classes and practice. I miss movie nights with my roommates and going to Dairy Queen with my classmates/teammates to get an ice cream to celebrate good exam grades; that’s always been our special tradition. I miss the drives to Horsetooth Reservoir to enjoy the sun setting over the spectacular scenery, while listening to country music. I miss having a weekend breakfast and studying at one of the numerous cozy coffeeshops, or just hanging out in Old Town Square with friends.
However, this is not the way I wanted to go home though, leaving America halfway through the semester because I’m scared of not being there for my family if they need me, during such worrying and anxiety-filled days.
I miss the warmth of the Fort Collins community. I’m very sad we won’t have a chance to socialize with our fans and boosters after the spring games we would have played in April.
Above all, I simply miss the companionship of my teammates; more than teammates, they’re my best friends and I’m so grateful to everyone for the love and kindness they showed me at the beginning of this difficult situation when I felt somewhat alone and so far from home.
Everyone please stay safe and healthy, I look forward to seeing you all and being back on campus and in Moby as soon as possible!