More Than a Number: Byrd Courts Strength Through Five
Family, new team help him through a trying first season at CSU
Mike Brohard
There was much to be learned at the church.
For 22 years, Nickcole Byrd has worked with Higher Dimension Church in Houston, Texas. So P.J. Byrd – who she calls her “only begotten son” and her baby – was essential raised there. There is much for a mother to teach a son, a bit more when she is the associate pastor and executive director of a church.
Those teachings engrained in him two words he often reflects upon – grace and favor.
Nickcole made sure all of the Byrd children – there are four total – always remembered their roots so they would have something to lean on. And when they needed to lean, they could do so on God, because he gives them both grace and favor and they are free.
Grace and favor, she told her baby, would help him through the tough times.
Through his father, Peter, he developed a passion for basketball. Peter took his youngest son everywhere to play. To the local courts to practice, and if his job as a barber had him busy, one of his clients would most likely make sure P.J. found his way to the gym.
And there, Peter would sit in the stands. He wasn’t a loud parent, but for his son, he was a presence. And after games, they would talk.
But life isn’t easy, and definitely not always expected.
Grace and favor.
P.J. had been on campus at Colorado State for a few months, which was a trying time for him. He’d started his collegiate basketball career at VCU, but soon after his freshman season, he was in search for a new home. He found Colorado State and coach Niko Medved, but it was a quick shuttle.
He arrived late in the summer, leaving him little time to acclimate to a series of new – home, coach, teammates – and do so hundreds of miles away from family.
A few months later – and just two days after his 20th birthday – the call came.
Assistant coach Ali Farokhmanesh asked P.J. to come to his office and handed him the phone, with his mother on the other line.
“Monday was his birthday, and his father is waving to him on FaceTime. Then on that Wednesday, I have to call him and tell him that his father had passed away,” Nickcole said. “I was very concerned. He’s 20, but he’s a young boy. Adults struggle in processing death and grief. I had a major concern because my son had never experienced life in this way. This was really a growth spurt for him as a young man to a man, really seeing life as it is.”
For two months, P.J. said his family hadn’t let him know his father was in the hospital. Even when he was told, the family didn’t really have answers. It was a stomach problem. He was tested for all sorts of ailments, all of which came back negative. Then Nickcole said doctors started treating Peter for TTP, an auto-immune disease. It’s a rare blood disorder, and just as it appeared Peter was improving, he passed away, and the family still isn’t sure why.
Medved and his staff were heartbroken. They were just getting to know P.J. when it happened, but he, Farokhmanesh, J.R. Blount and Nico Carvachio all traveled to the funeral to support him. Seeing that gave Nickcole faith her son had chosen the right program.
At that time, family and his new team played a vital role for him, as did his mother’s teachings.
“Support … My mom always tells me support gives you energy,” P.J. said. “It’s just seeing all the people who care about you, all the people who check up on you, and it really just helped me stay motivated, just knowing that he would want me to keep going. That was one thing I was trying to do, was make sure I wasn’t a quitter. I just knew I’ve been doing this all my life, I was invested into it and me and him both shared the love for the game. I think it’s only right for me to just keep going and make sure I push through to let him know that I love him.”
Maturing was the only option, and P.J. did so in short order. As he said, he was forced to, but he didn’t do it all alone.
He formed a bond with his teammates, as they were now the closest representation of family he had. P.J. was in the process of adjusting to Medved’s program and coaching, playing in a handful of games after appearing in more than 20 the year before.
In just one year, the change Medved has witnessed is amazing.
“Last year was a really hard year for him. I think his first two years of college were really hard for him in so many ways,” Medved said. “To see here in this offseason, I think he’s really started to come to a crossroads for him about what he wanted. He really wanted to be here, and I think I’ve seen him grow tremendously. I told him he was going to have to be willing to take on any role for the team for him, and he embraced it, and he’s done that. To see him now do what he’s doing is just awesome. Not only his role on the court, but his role off the court.
“He’s an energy giver. He’s the guy that people like to be around. He’s positive energy. He’s funny. He does a mean Coach Medved impression. It’s pretty good. He’s that guy. He’s got a great toughness and edge about him, but he’s also a guy that can keep everybody loose and laughing.”
My mom is always big on looking at the meaning of things, and when I chose No. 5, she was like, ‘PJ., that means grace and favor in the Bible. It’s crazy, stuff like that coincidentally happens. I don’t think so. I think it’s a sign from God and he’s just trying to let me know, I’m real.P.J. Byrd
But deep down, there are still moments when he needs to draw on strength. Grace and favor remind him daily. Now too, so does his number.
He wears No. 5 on his jersey, and with the passing of his father, it took on an entirely different meaning. To him, it represents the five members of his family. There’s Nickcole, his oldest brother Daniel, his sisters Dezmond and Antreiel and himself.
“It represents us a whole. It shows that God can give signs,” P.J. said. “My mom is always big on looking at the meaning of things, and when I chose No. 5, she was like, ‘PJ., that means grace and favor in the Bible. It’s crazy, stuff like that coincidentally happens. I don’t think so. I think it’s a sign from God and he’s just trying to let me know, I’m real.
“I pray before every game. Just looking at the jersey, especially on our throwback jersey’s when they put the Jr. on there, and that really represents me. He’s with me, he’s on the court with me. He gave me this chain, and I always wear it and it represents him. I try to think of him when I’m on the court.”
When P.J. decided the number would carry a special place for him moving forward, he naturally called his mother. He was sharing a realization with her, but on the other end of the call, a completely different one was taking place.
The one fear she had still carried was now removed in the span of the conversation.
“I got excited about it. It gives him an anchor,” she said. “It gives him some roots, and it gives him a target when he plays. It’s the idea of when it first happened, the question for me was, could these two loves still exist, one without the other? Can he still move forward with the passion of his father and the idea of playing basketball at this level?
“To hear him say that to me is a sign of healing, a sign of moving forward … It’s a sign of hope. I’m excited about that.”
So is P.J. A year later, the memory of his father is still omnipresent, but everything around him has changed. He is no longer far away from home learning to find his way. He now finds himself surrounded by people who care for him, teammates who have become like family.
When somebody is down, they joke with each other, take care of each other. In some ways the pandemic has drawn the Colorado State men’s team closer, as they live with each other and try to keep their bubble tight to avoid any quarantine issues. On the court, the reserve guard plays a valuable role in the success the Rams are having this season, and Medved knows it carries over away from the game, too.
His family of five is one. On the court, he views it the same.
“I think it is similar. It goes into the whole Team Together role,” P.J. said. “We talk about the individual accolades will come when the team is together as whole, we play well as a team. Coach Medved always tells us we don’t have to do anything but be the best of ourselves. That’s all we try to focus on, and that helps us win ball games.”
When he needs to, he can look at the number on his jersey and tap into the strength it gives him. Or the chain his father gave him. Both serve as symbols of what he needs when he feels he needs uplifted.
Just like his mother told him, with grace and favor, a person can navigate the rough moments of life.