Mbadinga-Nzamba Hopes Her Story Provides Inspiration
Her name returns to the No. 42 CSU women's basketball jersey Saturday
As is the case with so many moments during her journey, she’s not sure exactly how she’ll react.
While battling breast cancer this past year, Kim Mbadinga-Nzamba has found there are many a person can’t plan for, starting with the initial diagnosis. Other moments hit you emotionally, completely out of the blue. On Saturday, even though she can prepare for what she’ll see, she still can’t comprehend what it will mean to her, how it will affect her on the spot.
For the third year, Colorado State’s basketball programs are partnering with the UCHealth Cancer Center to support local cancer warriors, declaring Saturday’s women’s game against New Mexico (1 p.m.) and the men’s game on Jan. 28 with UNLV (7 p.m.) as “Bigger Than Basketball.” Each player on both teams will forgo their name on the back of their jersey for one game, replacing it with the name of a local patient.
This season, those patients and their families will be allowed to attend the games, if they so choose due to the current pandemic. Last year it was not possible, but two years ago, the meetings on the court between players and warriors was emotional for all involved. And like last year, because of the pandemic, the teams will meet with those they are representing virtually.
“I think it is such an amazing event on both sides, to be able to honor our patients and the impact is has on people for a lifetime,” said Kathleen Michie, the Oncology Services Program Manager at UCHealth at the Harmony Campus. “It hits on so many levels, from our staff and providers, the excitement they have to suggest different patient names, saying I think it would bless this patient, or it will be great to honor that patent, and then call the patient and say the care team nominated you and feeling their excitement.”
During the men’s game, CSU’s Director of Alumni Engagement, Lisa Hansen – the granddaughter of Fum McGraw – will be honored by a player. Saturday, Mbadinga-Nzamba will be taken back to her Colorado State playing days, wearing the green and gold from 1994-98 and helping the program win a Western Athletic Conference championship. She will once again see her name on the back of a Colorado State jersey (it will show as Austin-Mbadinga, honoring her mother and the name she went by in as a player, as well as her current married name). And not just any jersey, her former jersey.
No. 42.
It is currently worn by Karly Murphy, who like Mbadinga-Nzamba in her playing days, does all the dirty work down low with grit and tenacity. The players take particular pride in representing somebody else during these games, but this year, it holds an extra layer for Murphy.
“That means so much to me. I’m really big on culture, and I know those players built this tradition at CSU,” Murphy said. “It’s just an honor to represent someone who has played here.
“I think you’re representing more than yourself, just by putting the Colorado State jersey on. The name on the front is more important than the name on the back most nights, but it’s really cool when you can represent somebody else, play hard, play for them and play for your school and represent them all the best you can.”
Mbadinga-Nzamba is not simply a former Ram, but a current one. She worked with head coach Ryun Williams at the start of his tenure, spending the 2012-13 season as an assistant coach and director of recruiting, then spending the next three years as his Director of Basketball Operations. She is currently the Assistant Director of Diversity and Inclusion, working in student-athlete support services as an academic advisor, all while still teaching a class on campus.
She is a Ram through and through, and in the course of her journey, she has found Rams support Rams, which was instrumental for her along the way.
“I didn’t feel alone,” Mbadinga-Nzamba said. “There are so many people. I felt really supported. It’s interesting how many people who have been touched by or experienced cancer, and we all have a story to tell, an experience and a feeling. It felt enormous. My husband, Eric, works at the university as well, and he’s my rock. He’s my rock. He was with me at every appointment, every single time.”
Everyone she works with in SASS was supportive and encouraging, she said. Eventually, she would tell the class she taught, because they needed to know what was happening should she have to call off a class. Treatment, and the effects, are not predictable, not month to month or week to week.
It was Director of Athletics Joe Parker who came to her office one day to ask her if she would take part in the program.
Then there are the nurses and doctors at UCHealth and the infusion center who uplifted her. What they gave her, she said, was hope. At first, she felt so alone. After starting treatment, she knew what was far from the truth.
“You just think you’re just another patient, but every single time I walked into the infusion center, I really felt like I was the only one,” she said. “The wave of emotions you have all the time, and to be able to go in there and get loved on, get seen, get picked up, was really powerful. UCHealth is a very big part of who I am, and my gratitude goes beyond what I can express in words.”
For a person who had kept her journey private, especially early on, she jumped at the chance be represented. Saturday stands as a celebration for what she’s been through, but she also wants to be seen as an inspiration for those who are still in treatment.
She needed it herself at many points. Now she has the chance to return the gift.
“To be able to do this … The magnitude of it, I feel I have a good grasp on it, but I feel it’s going to hit me in the moment,” she said. “Because treatment and this journey has been literally a daily thing – almost a moment to moment thing. When you see a story on the internet or you’re talking to somebody who battled it 20 years ago, you have a connection and it takes you back to the first day when you found out and doctors are telling you what you need to do. I don’t feel like I’ve grasped it completely yet, but I’m here for it, and that feels like an accomplishment, to say, wow, what an honor.”
The date of the game is important, as it marks a year from her first chemotherapy treatment. She had one a week, on Friday’s, for 12 weeks. Then she underwent radiation treatments which ended in the middle of July. Since then, she has had need a shot every three weeks, the last of which she will take the Friday following the game.
The importance of the game will never be lost on Williams. He believes his team serves a much greater good than chasing a Mountain West victory or moving up the standings. It gives his team the opportunity to reverse the norm, to stand and applaud a group of people who are doing their best to defeat an opponent.
He loves that Murphy will represent Mbadinga-Nzamba, because their styles are similar. He is humbled they will be representing a cancer warrior they know.
“There’s a lot of meaning behind that. First off, Karly is a tremendous young lady who I will guarantee you will take a tone of pride in wearing the name of one of our former great Rams and somebody who is still here at CSU,” he said. “To be able to support Kim, who has meant so much to our program, years ago and still, what an honor for Karly.
“It is such an emotional game. I thought the games last year and two years ago were so emotional, and you don’t know those people. Now, to really know the person, their story, their journey and their fight, again, what an honor.”
Mbadinga-Nzamba has seen other players wear the No. 42 in the past, but for the first time in decades, the name Austin will be on the back one more time. That will hit, but how and to what degree, she herself is uncertain.
It made her emotional to see her 14-year old son, Daniel, get to wear a jersey with their name on the back this year, so all bets are off as she sits in the stands, hears Murphy announced as a starter and runs on to the court.
She will also think of her mom, who also beat breast cancer, undergoing treatment when Mbadinga-Nzamba first came back to CSU in 2012.
“As I think about what’s coming up Saturday, the arena I put all the blood, sweat and tears in, the opportunity and the honor to play at Colorado State University, the success we had, that’s what brings the emotion,” she said. “I’m going to fight back tears now, but that’s what it does. To know that CSU and CSU athletics is going to see all of me. There’s something about that. There’s certain parts during this whole journey, this was very, very private and close to me. Now, it’s, I’ve beat this, I’m going to beat this, I want to be an inspiration for others. I know that’s powerful.”
The moments come, but they all hit so differently. Even the ones which are clearly in view.