Stepping Back to Move Forward
Keller returns refreshed and confident
Mike Brohard
She was going to step away. That was planned.
It was good for her, too. As rewarding as the year was for Lexie Keller on multiple fronts, a bit of escapism was beneficial. Most definitely physically. Mentally, it was just as important, because for eight weeks, she could simply be Lexie Keller.
Not Lexie Keller, two-time, first-team All-American. That was something she was finally starting to come to terms with personally.
So she flew to Denver from Florida, where she capped her remarkable campaign by finishing sixth in the heptathlon at the NCAA Outdoor Championships and gathered all she had packed. She was back in Denver the next morning for her flight to Munich, then on to Prague, where arriving late led to some delays getting to her room.
It was a study abroad program through Colorado State, but the Albuquerque, N.M., product was really there to do an internship, working with the social services center of Prague. If there were a perfect setting for Keller to escape to, this was the place.
“It was really interesting, kind of a shock. I was so focused on track all semester, but I had this in the back of my mind and plan it and pack everything before,” Keller said. “Flying straight there was crazy. It was kind of shocking.
“The main thing they were doing while I was there was working with Ukrainian refugees because there were so many. I would deliver meals and go with nurses to meet with clients who needed social services.”
She was well aware of the Russian invasion of Ukraine, but it wasn’t until going to Europe where she saw the impact it was having on the Ukrainian citizens, as well as other countries on the continent.
She heard about it on the news. She saw posts on social media. But for seven weeks, it became very much a daily part in the life of the human development major.
“Just working with the refugees was really crazy and eye opening. It gave me a lot of perspective, and sometimes it was really difficult to see what people were going through,” Keller said. “My roommate worked at a transitional camp for Ukrainian refugees, and she spoke Russian, so she was teaching them English. They were kids and they were talking about things that happened, the crazy things.
“It frustrated me when I was there. I was like, how is this still going on and how are we not talking about it more? Over here, it feels like old news and there it is still very real.”
She had three roommates, all brought together through the program from other parts of the country. None of the others were athletes, which was nice.
It wasn’t until they had been together for a few weeks, and they’d found each other’s social media accounts they realized the depth of their new roommate.
“That was different. They were kind of, ‘why are you here, you’re an athlete?’ I loved it. I thought it was good for me to take a break from athletics a little bit.”
Keller had to find out herself too, after the results of a remarkable six-month journey. Her multis coach at CSU, Ryan Baily, knew who she could be, and Keller eventually became the athlete he envisioned. At the NCAA Indoor Track and Field Championships, she placed third in the pentathlon, her score of 4,321 points reestablishing her own school record.
A star was born, and inside, her belief was catching up with that of Baily. When the outdoor season began, it came with a sonic burst. She set a personal-best in each event of the season’s first heptathlon, blowing away the school record. She would break it again, at the Mountain West Championships, missing the conference mark by two points, a record shared by two others, including Nicola Ader of Nevada, who won the conference title. Keller would go on to outdoor nationals to place sixth, her second All-American performance of the season.
As she boarded her plane, internally she was finally getting to the point of acceptance.
“I feel like even after indoor nationals it hadn’t fully settled in,” Keller said. “I completely exceeded my expectations, then honestly even some of Baily’s expectations there. I don’t think it settled in until I went into the first heptathlon of the outdoor season and improved by 500 points. I was, ‘OK, this is legit, this is something I actually did.’ I improved a lot.”
To win the thing. It’s hard for me to say. I still have imposter syndrome about it, like, I didn’t really get third. But that’s my goal, and it’s always a fight for that first one. You have to be on your game, and everything has to be right, but that’s the goal.Lexie Keller
To Baily, the trip was perfect. She had qualified for the Thorpe Cup, a multi event held between the US and Germany each year, but they had unanimously decided to skip it and get her to her internship on time. The reason was she needed the break, and as they said their goodbyes, Baily reminded her to take a break from training for six weeks.
She was still to say in shape, obviously, but she wasn’t to do anything remotely geared toward her multi training.
“We wanted to think about bigger picture, and that was getting a little bit of rest and getting her mind out of it and just take a step back,” Baily said. “It’s always good. Not just emotionally or mentally, but also physically.
“She found some really cool stadiums that she was able to train at and do some stuff, train on her own at her pace, just kind of get away from it a bit and pick from the training I give them every summer. I think it was an awesome situation for her.”
His ask was like a gut-shot to her. The athlete in her finds it hard to relax, to take a step back, especially after taking so many steps forward.
She ran around Prague. She did body-weight workouts until she could find a nearby gym and do some strength training. Her internship lasted seven weeks, but she stayed an eighth, finding workouts as she explored the region.
Being in Prague helped because the atmosphere naturally steered her away from her norm.
“I think that’s something that’s hard for me. I constantly want to be working and doing things, so it was hard to settled down and relax,” she said. “I felt like I was fighting it at first. Coach Bailey telling me I don’t want you to train for six weeks, that was really hard for me. I think it was also really good for me.
“The pace of society there is a lot slower and more relaxed. I got to explore a new area by myself and navigate things and challenge myself in that way. The culture and fully immersing myself in it being there so long. Generally, it’s really beautiful and historic but it was the way of life there. I loved it was supper relaxed and people seemed to be happier, more fit and healthier.”
About the time her trip was to end, she found a stadium in Rome to workout in, one lined with statues of athletes. It was a reminder of who she was becoming, what she was chasing and why she was ready to head back home.
Where she was chasing ghosts to some degree the year before, a vision of what others believed her to be, Keller now has a completely different take on who she is as an athlete and what she wants to achieve.
“To win the thing,” she said flatly. “It’s hard for me to say. I still have imposter syndrome about it, like, I didn’t really get third. But that’s my goal, and it’s always a fight for that first one. You have to be on your game, and everything has to be right, but that’s the goal.
“I think it’s really beneficial just to believe in yourself, because that was something I struggled with last year. Baily and I have talked about how one of my biggest struggles was just believing in myself. I think that kind of solidified it last year and proving it to myself was really important, especially for this year now that I have that confidence. Now I know what I’m capable of and I have higher goals in that sense.
I think it’s good to hold yourself to a high standard but at the same time be patient with yourself.”
Ader, a seven-time All-American in her career at Nevada, is now a graduate assistant coach with the Wolf Pack. Through the years, they competed against each other and built a friendship and competitive bond.
They grew to support one another while trying to top the other. They wanted each other at their best because the victories would then mean more. Ader said when one was down, the other would uplift and encourage. They’d seen each other at their best, so they knew what it looked like. A little reminder never hurts, especially when it’s from your main challenger.
In all that time, what Ader came to respect most about Keller was her approach.
“Something Lexi really is good at is just staying calm and really enjoy what she’s doing,” Ader said. “In a multi, that’s super important. There are seven events over the course of two days, and some events will go really well and other events will not go that well. While in an open event you can put a check mark behind it, in a multi, the score will suffer if you’re not scoring that high in one of the events. Lexi did a really good job of staying calm no matter what happened, and she’d switch over the next event and try to give 100 percent at that. I think that’s a key factor to why she’s so successful.”
Baily is a fan of the calm himself. He’s a bigger supporter of where it stems.
It was why he wasn’t worried when she left the country for two months. Why he had no qualms with asking her to take a step back from training for a spell. When she returned, he knew she would be locked in on her goals, but his greatest confidence grows from her take on her career.
“I think one thing that separates Lexi from other girls is she’s done a really good job of, in essence, not taking it too serious and understanding her value as a person first and her leadership skills,” he said. “Athlete is up there, but it’s not her main priority. Track isn’t her main priority either. I do think that’s why she can go into competitions and meets, and even though she absolutely loves it and is committed 150 percent, the reality is she can go in and still enjoy it. I think because of that she can go to that next level and keep getting better this year.
“That’s really probably her biggest talent. There are times I do catch her in practice and she’s not at her best and she gets a little frustrated, but then she can flip the switch and be OK within a few minutes. That’s OK. However, we really tried to harp on understanding the whole picture. If we’re fried, we’re not going to be hitting personal bests this week in training. That’s the way it’s going to be, and she understands the process. I think understanding the process for a lot of athletes is hard and takes time, and for coaches. With Lexi, there’s no doubt her best attribute is her ability to go out and have fun, even in competition.”
While she will be the preeminent favorite to win both the pentathlon and heptathlon titles this season in the Mountain West, she is more than fine with forgoing both opportunities. Actually, part of her plan is to not be compete in either one at conference.
She’d rather be there for her team. Obviously, Keller is really good at a lot of different events. She’s also very good at a few of them, and if she can score points in more places for the Rams at the conference meet, that’s the route she will choose.
Her plan is simple. She wants to hit impressive multi scores early in the season, good enough to qualify her for the NCAA Championships indoor and outdoor. That way, she is free to compete in a host of individual events and pile up points.
Baily said it’s also a good way to have her at her best at the national level, and it forces a new way of thinking into her training.
“We’ve talked about this. First meeting of the year, our conversation is in order to go to another level, we have to stop thinking like a combined-event athlete in a lot of the events, so we have to start thinking about the open,” he said. “Not only are we going to put her in opens, I don’t want her to go to conference and just score minimal in the hurdles, I want her to go fight for the championship. I don’t want her to score minimal in the high jump, fight for the championship. Start training in the opens like you’re an open athlete in each event. That’s how we make that next jump.
“We have to think like that, because before, it was it doesn’t matter, it’s an open, I’m just doing it for practice. Now, the whole thought process is everything you practice is to improve that even so much you can be competitive at the top level at the conference meet. Long jump, hurdles, high jump, those three events particularly.”
Her giving and selfless attitude in this regard is applauded by the coaching staff, but it can go too far. Baily said she’s such a good leader, so willing to give of herself, it’s the other athletes on the team he worries about. He’s actually told them they have to pull their own weight, because Keller is so willing to take a lead role.
Hard to blame them with an actual living legend working alongside them at practice. To her, it’s paying it forward.
“I think it’s important to have mentors and people leading you, and I had that throughout my career here,” Keller said. “Specifically, my freshman year, Gabby Smith, she was a natural leader. I’m trying to be that for the freshmen and help them throughout and talk to the about my experiences. I hope that helps them. I’ve loved it. I think helping others really helps you too.
“I think it’s good, because it can raise expectations people have for themselves, especially when they hear my story and how it happened.”
Like the practice when she told Tatum Bailey she was doing better than she did as a freshman. Coach Baily said it floored the youngster so much he had to back Keller up and say it was true.
“It wasn’t that Lexi was bad, but she’s not afraid to say that to help the other girls,” he said.
She’s not afraid to say some other things these days either.
Such as she’s confident. She believes she can win a multi national championship this year. It’s mental progress which will push the physical advancement. She’s still chasing this year, but now she knows others are chasing her.
Going away allowed her time to reset. She focused on who she wants to be after athletics, saw a new part of the world and had new ideas and perspectives presented.
She came back recharged, ready to go. Better yet, she had a plan in place and goals to attack.
“I’m ready. I feel it started to hit the past couple of weeks. It’s getting really close to the season. Starting in the fall, it’s easy to go through the motions and not have a goal because you’re training so hard for so long. Now that it’s around the corner, I’m really excited.”
Now her steps are calculated. To move forward and create distance with the competition. To win titles, for herself and her team. To qualify again for the Thorpe Cup and go back to Germany, where Ader hopes to compete against her once again, this time in her home country.
Then, eventually, to make the US Olympic Trials and even the national team. All are steps forward she sees for herself. All feel more real after a summer where she first took a step back.