Turner Looking to Brighten Dark Places
Punter helping to raise money to aid those impacted by suicide
Mike Brohard
Because he’s been there.
Motivation can come from the most curious places. Spaces a person wished they’d never been, yet down the road they find a way to make it serve a purpose.
Paddy Turner knows. He’s been 8,000 miles away from home, receiving a phone call from his grieving mother, informing him his lifelong best friend, Jack Antonio, had died by suicide.
They’d known each other forever. Their parents went to school together. If there was a sport Paddy was playing back in Ararat, Victoria, Australia, so was Antonio. They grew up across the street from each other. They took holidays and camped together.
When his friend entered a room, the place lit up. When Turner had a knee injury, it was his friend – on a different team – who supported his recovery and kept his spirits high.
“We knew each other our whole lives, and that’s something I’m forever grateful for,” Turner said. “He had a huge impact on me as a supporter, as a friend. He’s definitely part of the reason I’m over here today.”
Turner knows the darkness. He understands the numbness that overcomes a person in grief and the value of having a shoulder to lean on. A multitude of them. For that, he is thankful. He also knows not everybody comes with the same support system, even if they aren’t thousands of miles from the one place they truly want to be in the moment.
The because has turned into his why as he sought a way to help the community which has welcomed him, to raise awareness and try to bring a measure of comfort for someone who finds themselves in a place he wished he never knew.
This season, Colorado State’s redshirt sophomore punter has partnered with Alliance for Suicide Prevention of Larimer County, an organization which has served the community for 35 years. He is donating $20 for every punt he places inside the 20-yard line this season and has asked others to join him by pledging to their website. Because he is from outside the country, Turner cannot benefit from Name, Image and Likeness, and for a spell, sales of jerseys, sweatshirts and T-shirts collected in the ether. Now, they’ve found a home, as all of his NIL funds will be channeled to the organization.
Through a mutual relationship, the two found each other. Nikki Lucas, whose husband, Ben, oversees Rams Sports Properties at Colorado State, had once been on the board of directors for Alliance. A meeting was set up with executive director Scott Smith, who was immediately affected.
“He came by the office, and I was really impressed by his story and how he conducted himself, and then his vision of how he could give back and impact the issue,” Smith said. “He was extremely articulate and open and vulnerable about his own journey with losing his best friend to suicide. He talked about his feelings around mental health and how it’s stigmatized, and how he wanted to make an impact on that, especially in college sports and college students in general.”
In the Rams’ first game, Turner placed two of his attempts inside the 20, donating his $40. The money generated will help support a new group at the Alliance designed to help families who have experienced loss.
For Turner, it was the perfect opportunity to honor his friend, but also help people who had shared a similar experience.
“I wanted to make sure this money is going to the right place, and Scott certainly made sure I knew that,” Turner said. “They are starting up a new fund, the survivor’s fund, and that’s where my money is going. It’s to the family and loved ones who have been impacted by someone taking their life, be it funeral costs or education or training. It’s to help fill in the void of what’s been left.
“With the situation with Jack, it’s very eye-opening to see how impactful it is on the whole community. Not just family and close friends it hits home with so many people you don’t expect. Schools, work, townships, football clubs – there’s so much love for one person that one person might not realize and so much heartbreak you might not even see.”
Your overall health is a combination of so many different determinants and mental health is crucial.Paddy Turner
The topic of mental health has taken on greater importance in recent years, triggered in no small part by the isolation created a few years back by the global pandemic. It created depression and isolation, and for a small time, increased suicide rates in younger adults, though those numbers are starting to decline, Smith said.
Turner sees it in his locker room, the understanding one’s mental health has a direct correlation with game performance, and in his view, his generation is taking note of their overall health.
“I think the world is changing in a way. We spend so much time on our physical health trying to get stronger, trying to get faster, get more powerful. Why aren’t we doing the same for our minds?” Turner said. “If your mental health is at zero percent on game day, your overall health is not 100 percent. Your overall health is a combination of so many different determinants and mental health is crucial. If your head is not in the game on a Saturday, you will not perform the way you want to perform, and that goes for everyday tasks.”
Colorado State recently hired Ross Barr, Psy.D, LP, as the director of student-athlete mental health and performance. He’s been on campus for less than two months, time he’s spent contacting each program on campus, with additional and more personal meetings on the horizon.
When he hears about student-athletes such as Turner acting, he becomes extremely encouraged about the tide changing when it comes to awareness growing on the topic of mental health. He feels the student-athletes on campus can make a huge difference, not just for themselves, but those around them.
“One hundred percent. It makes my job so much easier because people are already creating that awareness around it for themselves and getting engaged with it and starting to understand how all of this ties together,” he said. “I think the awareness around that has increased dramatically. They know it’s a really important factor. Where I see the gap is then, ‘OK, what do I do?’ A lot of that is on our end on it, to be able to provide the education to say, ‘yes, you have that awareness now and here are the steps.’ They are very aware and willing to even put out there, I’m not in a good spot mentally, and it’s having this impact instead of just throwing it in the backpack.”
Turner isn’t just raising money and hoping it helps. His involvement will go much deeper with the Alliance, as he will also speak to local schools and organizations. He will be the organization’s keynote speaker at its major fundraiser this year, the Lifesavers Gala held Sept. 21 at TPC Colorado in Berthoud.
In that role, Smith believes Turner will have a far greater impact, though funds for a non-profit are always important.
“It was huge. Not only does money help us, because everything we do is free, but more importantly, getting a student-athlete with a lot of visibility talking about mental health and destigmatizing it, and maybe getting other student-athletes or students to take one of our trainings and talk about mental health more helps,” he said. “We’re pretty connected with CSU as far as partnering in the community.”
Smith sees the trends in younger adults to be positive. So too does Barr. Even still, both say there is more work to be done across the board. Not just in getting people to value their own mental health more and understand how it impacts everyday life, but in removing the stigmas embedded for generations.
Stigmas which long kept the subject of suicide taboo. Or of asking for help to be a sign of weakness.
Turner knows what he sees around him, and he’s on board with the experts he knows. Seeing carries more weight.
“I wouldn’t call it healthy yet, but I’d say it’s climbing that way. I still think there’s a lot of people scared of the word suicide,” he said. “I think there are a lot of people scared of the thought of what people think of them. (CSU Special Teams) Coach (Tommy) Perry, I’ve spoken a lot about how impactful he is on my mental game in the world of sport, but also in the world of life. He’s told me time and time again that comparison is the enemy of happiness. It hits home more than ever now. I think so many people compare their situations to others and think I won’t talk about my feelings because this person’s situation is so much worse; I don’t want to burden anyone. It really puts people into a deep, dark place because they’re comparing themselves to other people.”
Turner has received the call, so he wants to help others who have as well. Better yet, he hopes his work can lead to a call never being needed. When he did, he knew he could walk into the locker room, shed tears and be emotional and have “120 brothers wrap their arms around me.”
Not everyone in life has those immediate bonds, but his goal is to create a lifeline for them from the place they are in. A place he wished he never knew.