The Big, Scary Move Which Really Wasn’t
Nehir-Isman, Zhadzinskaya came to the States alone and sight unseen
Mike Brohard
A good song can carry you places. Take you back in time to a fond memory. Recall a certain someone at a particular place in time. The right song can hype you up, carry you through. Some can even put you in a time and place, create the right mood. Turn the lyrics into a screenplay and make yourself the main character.
“It was pretty scary, because all of those things were things I had never done by myself, forget the part it’s in a completely different continent and a different language,” Mavi Nehir-Isman said. “I just took everything one tiny step at a time, calling my parents and vlogging my friends at home who were going through some similar stuff. I was like, ‘how hard can it be?’
“I was scared, but I was just exploring. ‘Party in the USA,’ the Miley Cyrus song, I was telling myself I jumped out of the cab at LAX with a dream and a cardigan.”
Ditch LAX for DIA. No Hollywood sign, just a creepy looking blue mustang locals have tabbed “Blucifer.” Scrap the cardigan, too; too hot for one in the Colorado summer.
She left her home in Istanbul, Türkiye, and flew to Frankfurt, Germany. Then it was off to Denver, where she caught a bus and went to Fort Collins and checked into a hotel. The then incoming Colorado State swimmer woke up the next morning, went to a bank and opened an account. Then she went to the cell phone store and obtained a sim card for her new home. She then checked out of the hotel, jumped on a bus and arrived at her dorm wondering if she was going to fit in.
She did this all by herself as an 18-year old. It wasn’t that her parents didn’t want to come, but it is expensive and besides, their visa request had not gone through.
Two years ago, Nehir-Isman handled it all like a champ. Two years later, a dark thought crept into her head out of the blue.
“Thinking back, I don’t know if I would let my kid do that. I’m not saying my parents are wrong, but I go back, they didn’t have their visas approved yet,” she started. “I just thought about this: If I died, they wouldn’t have even been able to come get me. I just thought about that.”
Judging from reactions, this was not a thought Viktoryia Zhadzinskaya -- sitting to the left of Nehir-Isman – ever had once cross her mind. Wide-eyed, she just smiled.
As a 17-year old, Zhadzinskaya left Minsk, Belarus, to chase her dream of playing tennis in the States, starting her journey at Hillborough Community College in Plant City, Fla. Like Nehir-Isman, she jumped on a plane with all she could pack, heading to a place she had never been and doing so on her own.
Both of them had little moments of panic. Phones would die or lose service at a point they were trying to get information about their next move on the journey. Luckily for both, they experienced kind souls who were eager to lend assistance.
Neither of them really thought about it – making a move to a new country they’d never visited by themselves – they just did the next thing.
“My parents weren’t trying to get a visa, so that was the plan. I knew I was going by myself,” said Zhadzinskaya, now less than a month away from graduating from Colorado State. “I was fine with that. I actually would not change a thing, probably because I’m grateful I was able to get my independence early. It was challenging in moments. Looking back, my life would be different if I stayed at home. I’m pretty happy with how it ended up. In the moment though, it was definitely a lot. I didn’t realize how much was on my plate.
“I was 17 at the time. I actually felt super excited leaving. I felt happy leaving for the first time to college. Now when I go home, I leave with tears, missing my family. I don’t know. I just had it in me, the courage of exploring something new. I was craving something new. I think going through some challenges at home made it better, feeling fresh here, going to a new place and starting a new life in a way.”
Knowing everything you’ve been though helps you live life with confidence. It’s experience.Viktoryia Zhadzinskaya
A big part of the draw for international students to come to America is the chance to pursue dreams, plural, not singular. Often back home they are faced with the choice of continuing their athletic dreams at an academy or attending university to continue their education. The option to do both, especially at one place, doesn’t exist.
Zhadzinskaya had run into a friend who had put the idea of studying abroad in her head, while Nehir-Isman, in her sophomore season with the Rams in the pool, had seen plenty of Turkish swimmers make the move.
All it required was a plan, and while both talked to schools, neither one of them ever went on a recruiting trip. And neither one of them had been to the United States. All they knew was what they desired could be found there.
Naturally, there was culture shock upon arrival. Language comes to mind. So does culture. Shock also came in more basic forms, as it did the first day for Zhadzinskaya.
“I still remember my first day of getting to the US. I was lucky my coaches and two teammates met me at the airport,” she said. “The first thing we did on our way to the dorms was we went to Walmart. That was my first, ‘wow, what is this,’ moment. It was such a huge store. I’d never seen one that had everything from products to clothes. I literally told my teammates, just pick things you think I need, I can’t deal with this right now. They created a basket of essentials for the dorm for me. We got some food for the first couple of days. I was already shocked, but I have a good memory of being in Tampa driving through the sunset with palm trees. I felt, ‘wow, what is this?’ My teammates were helpful. They went to the bank and sat with me and walked me through everything. I was lucky with the teammates I had at that moment.”
College tennis is loaded with international players. For that, Zhadzinskaya was grateful, having teammates on hand who had already been through the experience and could caution her about some tasks, point her in the right direction for others.
Nehir-Isman came to Colorado State in a season where coach Christopher Woodard tapped into the international market for the first time in a while, additionally landing Tess Whineray from New Zealand, who made the move with the assistance her mother.
Even that one teammate had a profound impact on Nehir-Isman’s experience.
“For me, I didn’t feel completely alone thanks to Tess,” she said. “Also, all year last year, I kept telling her I had no clue I needed you, but your existence as another international that feels like a sister completely altered my college life.”
Listening to Zhadzinskaya talk about her first day, another thought hit Nehir-Isman, though nowhere close to as dark. She wonders if she should have asked Woodard for a ride from the airport. She never considered it. Once she was accepted, she just made a plan to get to campus with not a lot of questions asked.
He wonders the same thing, too, looking back. All he heard from his new swimmer was she had it all in place, which is what he’s come to learn about her.
“If I don’t give credit to her parents, that would be a huge mistake. I can only imagine that’s from growing up very independent and empowered. That shows,” he said. “She’s very independent, very respectful. She doesn’t ask for a lot of help doing things. She may ask for suggestions, but she tends to do it on her own and get it done. I imagine that’s largely family upbringing. Secondary, as much as she brings her Turkish upbringing to the pool, I think she’s 50 percent American. She’s had no issue at all adapting to American culture and understanding the landscape here.
“With all due respect to some her compatriots, when we were in that recruiting cycle recruiting three other Turkish nationals, Mavi just stood out. The ease in which she spoke with us and had a good sense of what she wanted out of her future, and I don’t think all of those athletes possessed that. She was the easiest choice out of that group.”
What he didn’t know was the few days leading up to the move, Nehir-Isman cried each night, finally seeing the daunting task in front of her. She calmed herself down by putting it all into perspective.
The move, in her mind, wasn’t permanent. If she didn’t like it, she’d just go back home. She was going to give herself a month, but it took less than two weeks for her to figure out she liked everything about Colorado State.
I view myself as a big girl now. I approach things way more confidently knowing what I’ve done while still a teenager.Mavi Nehir-Isman
Naturally, one of the perks of being in the country is seeing all it has to offer. Zhadzinskaya has been here for four years, the past three at Colorado State. She has been back to Florida, which she loves. She has also been to Arizona a host of times, New York City and visited Charleston, S.C., home of her teammate, Logan Voeks.
“My family was very supportive of me exploring the US. One year I went to Miami, and it was beautiful; I’ll remember it forever,” Zhadzinskaya said. “Last year I went to New York City, and that was the best week of my life. I saw all the highlights of New York, which was a dream of mine. I love San Diego. I’ve been to Arizona a few times and hiked, saw the Grand Canyon. Colorado is beautiful.
“I love the US. You can find the beach, the mountains, the desert. You can find anything.”
Nehir-Isman hasn’t been here as long, but she’s done some exploring herself. Some of it has been where the team has taken her, others spots she’s ventured to with friends.
This summer, the reverse will happen where a handful of her teammates will visit her in Istanbul.
“San Diego was probably the best spot. We traveled there for a week, we were at a nice resort with the team for a training trip and we kept talking about how we wanted to move there after college,” she said. “We just fell in love with place. Spring break this year, I got to go to New Orleans. Super different, super interesting. It was similar to Istanbul in some ways, and I loved it. It was a beautiful culture. Another place would be Fort Myers. Not specifically the city, but the surrounding area. Florida overall was just gorgeous.”
What they both believe is their beginning accelerated their growth. Navigating a big move on their own forced them to make decisions earlier than some of their classmates, take care of themselves sooner.
For instance, Nehir-Isman said her friends back home don’t do laundry for themselves, let alone go to the grocery story and cook their meals. One thing they both believe they gained before some of their classmates is a belief in themselves.
“I view myself as a big girl now. I approach things way more confidently knowing what I’ve done while still a teenager,” Nehir-Isman said. “I think in some other ways, it just gave me so many opportunities to travel around and even live in a completely different culture, continent and climate. It allows me to see things and be more grateful of both my opportunities and the time I have at home. I see my family in ways, were I have I have three months with you, I’m going to get the best out of this time.”
Both have gone home, but neither of them has had family visit. Not yet at least, but Nehir-Isman said her parents are planning a trip in the next year.
Zhadzinskaya will remain in Fort Collins with an internship set up post-graduation. Not much fazes her anymore, having navigated some decisions earlier than expected and having done so successfully.
She is a different person than the 17-year old who left Belarus for Florida, a fact for which she’s grateful.
“Knowing everything you’ve been though helps you live life with confidence. It’s experience,” she said. “I feel very experienced. I don’t know if I’m finding the right words, but meeting so many people from different cultures and backgrounds makes me feel more open minded to anyone. I feel having a lot of knowledge and experiences of seeing different places and meeting different people and going to through situations, it’s made me maybe more mature than I would be.”
Nowadays, butterflies aren’t as prevalent. Homesickness doesn’t hit as often. The dream is now reality. What bolsters them most of all is the feeling, deep down, they know they’re going to be OK.
Support Colorado State Athletics: Tickets | Ram Club | Green And Gold Guard