A Week Brown Will Never Forget

For a young man who has been up front and on top of things, in the moment, he can't turn his feelings into syllables, let alone a complete sentence. He always had a plan and was able to lay it out clearly for Colorado State coach Jay Norvell and his teammates.

Amani Ford had already stolen his heart. Now too has Vaya Leilani Brown.

"I've been at a loss for words ever since my daughter was born on Friday," Vince said. "A lot of my teammates and people have asked me what it was like, what was the experience? I'm at a loss for words. Until you have your own and you experience it yourself, then you'll understand how I'm feeling. I'm trying to put it into words, this whole situation. It's a blessing from God. It's beautiful how we can create life. It's breathtaking."
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The due date for Vaya was this week, the Rams' bye week, which would have been perfect. Due dates are also notorious for being the one day a baby will not be welcomed into the world, which is why Vince put together a plan.

It would get him back home for key moments. It would definitely have him back in Chicago in time to witness Vaya's birth.

"He talked about it months ago to us. Life goes on, and these are important moments for these kids who will never get them back," Norvell said. "We thought it was important he be part of that. We want to support our players. These are our kids. They have lives outside of football that are important, and he has to do the right things. He's got a whole locker room of guys who want to support him on that, not just the coaching staff.

"He was detailed months ago about what he wanted to do and when he wanted to be there. That's all we can ask of our guys, to be mature, plan ahead for these life events and do the best we can. I learned a long time ago with kids – we have 114 kids and a big staff of people. They have lives, and their family lives are important. We need to understand that and know those things are going to happen."

Amani and Vince found out Vaya was breech, making an early cesarean section necessary for the health of the mother and the child. Vince practiced for Saturday's UTEP game up until Tuesday, then headed for Chicago to be there in plenty of time.

While those around him are praising him, Vince quickly diverts admiration toward his fiancée.

"Amani understands the mission I have with this team and understands I have dreams of going to the NFL. Even before Vaya was born, Amani never thought of me missing the game," he said. "It's as hard for her, me not being there. She understands the circumstances. I wouldn't trade Amani for anybody in the world. She's been a beast this entire process. This whole pregnancy I've been gone for like 98 percent. I flew back for a couple of appointments, the gender reveal, and the baby shower. She's been by herself, with some family members. She's a trooper.

"She's the definition of a woman. She's getting it done, and I'm 100 percent grateful for her being the mother of my child. She's been a great help to me mentally because I want to be there. I'm very proud of how she's handled this whole pregnancy."

Vince will be the first to tell you he had plenty of help from his teammates. While Vince is a proud father, Paddy Turner said there are about 114 fun uncles waiting to meet Vaya for the first time.

The day Vaya was born, with the team gathered for meetings at the hotel, Turner sent Vince and Ford a congratulations video which meant the world to dad.

"I can't even imagine how that would feel. He's been incredible and so has Amani," Turner said. "She's been so amazing through the process, to allow Vince to pursue his dream in Fort Collins. Vince has been very mature about it and very honest about the pregnancy. He's been leaning on his brothers to share that excitement with. We're stoked for him to have another little Ram in the family."

Being there is really what trips him up, as it has countless first-time father's before him. All the preparation in the world couldn't put him in that one specific moment.

The one which followed, when he said goodbye to Vaya on her first day, was the hardest.

"After Friday morning at 8:25 a.m., my fiancée and daughter were healthy, I made the decision to come back. It was hard," Brown said. "I was crying. I was crying all night. The drive to the airport. It was hard to do, becoming a first-time father and leaving your child after a couple of hours.

"Up to this point in my life, it's one of the hardest things I've ever done. The whole time in the hospital I was looking at the clock because I knew I was going to have to leave. Knowing they needed me, and I had to leave, it was hard. I haven't cried that much in a long time. Before I left, I was expressing my feelings to Amani, apologizing, and I was crying. I cried on the way to the airport and on the plane. I cried driving back to Fort Collins. It was rough. I was crying before the game. It's one of the hardest things I've done."

What he hadn't done was sleep.

The day Vaya was born, she slept, and Amani definitely needed her time to sleep and recover from the procedure. In the evening, Vaya and her father had plenty of time to bond.

"I was definitely running off two hours," Vince said of game day. "My daughter was being hard-headed. She slept all day Friday, then at night she wanted to be up and active. My fiancée was bedridden, so I was on daddy duty and doing everything. I wasn't complaining. I was very happy doing everything. No sleep, I was proud to be there and doing everything. No complaints."

Not until he had to leave. When he arrived at the team hotel, he was swarmed by happy teammates. When he was done showing off his daughter – Turner said it took about 30 seconds before Vince was showing pictures on his phone – he tried to find a quiet spot to catch a nap.

About 30 minutes on a floor was all he would get.

"When he walked in the hotel doors, everyone lit up to have him back and share that moment with him. I'm not sure I'd recommend any player have two hours of sleep and go out and play Division I football, but he held his own and did what he needed to do," Turner said. "He was sleeping on the floor in one of the meeting rooms, and Pete Montini went and woke him up. I said, 'Pete, you just ruined the last good sleep he's going to have.'"

Vince had his first reception as a father, covering nine yards. With this being a bye week, he will return to Chicago to see Amani and Vaya, both back home and healthy now, on Wednesday.

When he returns to Fort Collins, he knows he'll be sad once again. The team will have another bye down the road, giving him another chance to return. He said it's hard on all of them, being apart, but concessions are made when dreams are being chased to hopefully benefit the family.

Family. It's a word which now carries new meaning for him. It gives him understanding of all the moments when he watched his parents shed tears and wondered why. Now he knows. And he knows he'll do it again.

It's how he's currently communicating feelings he cannot express verbally.

"It's an experience you can't explain," Vince said. "I try to find words to put it in perspective to witness that. I don't think anything in life will ever top that experience."

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