Sensing the Inevitable, CSU Student-Athletes React to Fall Postponement

FORT COLLINS, Colo. – Before the real heat of the day started to rise, they were practicing.

The Colorado State women's soccer team went through drills and did conditioning. The volleyball team did the same thing at Moby Arena. None of them even considered the news Colorado State Director of Athletics Joe Parker delivered to them at 4:20 p.m.– the Mountain West was postponing the fall sports season.

"We've all enjoyed being together so much, that's a few hours we can show up and play and sort of forget there's this imminent crumble happening to our season," senior soccer player Addie Wright said. "I can tell you I don't think anybody this morning was thinking about this. And if we show up for practice tomorrow, if that's part of the deal, nobody will think about it again.

"It's hard not to be in the moment when we're all together playing soccer. It's bittersweet for sure."

The Mountain West Board of Directors met at noon on Monday to discuss the ongoing concerns surrounding athletics during the coronavirus pandemic, deciding the best course of action was to postpone fall sports, which include football, men's and women's cross country, women's soccer and women's volleyball on the Colorado State campus. Earlier, the conference had made the decision to eliminate fall competition for men's and women's golf, women's swimming and diving, women's tennis and men's and women's indoor track.

The Mountain West will look at the possibility of shifting fall sports to the spring.

Student-athletes who have been on campus preparing for the season have all had to deal with the emotions the decision was a possibility. When the news was delivered, they weren't shocked. They were still disappointed, however.

"I think as a team we've always just tried to keep our focus, planning for a fall," senior volleyball player Ellie Gubser said. "There's always that uncertainty right below the surface – are we preparing for something that's not going to happen? To get that crushing blow that it's not happening and I'm a senior, and that was it.

"You know, I'm kind of ready to cry. I was talking to my mom, and she's like, 'you know, I might have seen your last game.'"

News about the virus has changed from day to day, and this was the one development they all feared. They hope there is a chance their schedules can be moved to the spring, but for Wright and fellow senior Ally Murphy-Pauletto, both are graduating in December. A spring campaign gives them another course to consider.

As the vice president of the Student-Athlete Advisory Committee, Murphy-Pauletto said the possibility of a fall postponement had already been discussed, admitting those talks will now take a different direction.

She believes the determination was made for the right reasons, no matter the flood of emotions which came with the announcement.

"I think honestly the decision was made with everybody's health and safety in mind. I'm not shocked, but I'm disappointed," Murphy-Pauletto said. "Being a senior and a player in general, this isn't ideal. My heart goes out to the freshmen, too. I haven't really fully processed it all yet. I'm just hoping we're all staying safe, and as more information comes out, we'll be able to react a little better."

Deep down, senior safety Logan Stewart was bracing for the news. A recent run of positive COVID-19 tests had put the football program into an indefinite hold, and 150 tests conducted a week earlier produced nine positive results, eight from the football roster.

The Ivy League had made the decision earlier in the summer, and this past week, the Mid-American Conference had come to the same conclusion.

"I kinda got the sense this would happen when they started to cancel the HBCU's," Stewart said. "For me, that was a red flag and this was something that would be a possibility of us cancelling, just because we don't have a vaccine yet. If we had one, I think we'd be playing football at this time.

"It makes it hard, because you envision a lot of stuff going down. For me now, it's testing my patience, to go back to the drawing board and have a better campaign than I was planning on having."

With no season, Wright is turning her attention to making sure the soccer team still stays together through any kind of activities they can cobble together. Her hope is the Mountain West puts all of its efforts into serious discussions about how to make fall sports possible in the spring. It will leave her with another decision to make, but at the very least, she hopes her teammates will be afforded chance.

Following the pandemic itself, uncertainty reigns supreme for the student-athletes, and they understand answers aren't currently available. At the very least, they have to ask questions to get people thinking. At this moment, as they deal with the depressing news, the one thing they are left with is hope.

And they will hold on to that for as long as possible.

"I think it's always there," Gubser said. "I think it wanes and comes and goes. You have to have hope."

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